Slow down and listen

As I work my way through the Bible I have decided to intersperse each book with a few Psalms. As they are so varied it does not matter if they are not done continuously and I feel that doing all 150 in one go might be too much. So, having finished the book of Philippians, I thought I would easily do my first ten this morning. Wrong!! Psalm 1 only contains six verses but after an hour and a half I was still finding lots of different things to think about. With so many Psalms to turn to we all have our favourites and I suspect, like me, this first one often gets missed although it is well worth a look at.

Perhaps God is trying to teach me about my "selfish ambition and conceit" which I only wrote about yesterday. I said I was going to study and finish ten Psalms this morning but He said, "No, one is enough, and do it well!"

This is what I learned from that Psalm today. You can choose to walk in one of two ways, either wickedly or righteously. The wicked will be driven away "like chaff that the wind drives away, and their way will perish." They will not be able to stand in the presence of God or even amongst the righteous on judgement day. How awful to be banished from the comfort and love of God's arms forever! It does not say they will perish (which would actually be a better outcome than living without God) but their ways will perish - no more sin. 

The righteous are blessed by not mixing with the wicked but, instead, "delight in the law of the Lord and meditate on it day and night". Verse 3 says, "In all that he does he prospers", which I don't think is meant to be a 'prosperity gospel' but by reading your Bible daily and meditating on it you more likely to be tuned in to what God's plan for you it and will follow it. If you do what God wants He will make it a success and provide everything you need to make it happen. It says you will prosper in all that you do, not that you will have lots of material possessions. Think of Paul - he certainly prospered in spreading the gospel and glorifying God but he definitely didn't have an easy life with lots of money and nice houses. He suffered physically but was spiritually very rich.

So, to conclude, to be blessed we should study our Bibles, listen to what God wants us to do and do it. By so doing He will help us succeed. Do not be rejected, worthless, empty and without God, like the chaff blown away by the wind. And do not be conceited and think you are able to race through your studies - God wants you to slow down and listen.

Rejoice in the Lord, always.

As I started a study of the book of Philippians I thought it would not take me long as there are just four chapters and I would quickly whizz through them. How wrong I was! One of the things to do in the study was to record all the instructions that Paul gives to the Philippians and, boy, was I challenged as I worked my way through the book. 

There were three of these instructions that particularly stabbed at me. The first was in Chapter 2, verse 3, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves". I know that I am guilty of pride and like 'showing off' how much Bible study I have done compared to others, and I am not always that patient or kind. I will pray on this and work to not boast (except in the name of Jesus). I should give my time generously and make an effort to listen to those who aren't always included or who find it hard to understand things.

Further on in this chapter in verse 12 it tells us "to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure". Those who know me are aware that I sometimes doubt my own salvation but here it is, saying that it is God doing it all - how awesome!

Chapter 2 verse 15 chides us into "doing all things without grumbling or disputing", (yes, that does include emptying the dishwasher for the third time that day!), And why? So we are "blameless and innocent children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom we shine as lights in the world and holding fast the world of life".

Despite this book being full of personal challenges, there are at least twelve mentions of the words "joy" and "rejoice" and for the majority of the time I was studying the book of Philippians, that lovely, lively chorus was going over and over in my mind - "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice" and comes directly from Chapter 4 verse 4. Although I have lots to think about and address, I still found that wonderful, uplifting joy that can only be found in our Lord.

Unlock Your Heart

Lunchtime today saw me sitting in my car in the gateway to a field waiting for my son to walk the dogs. It was a beautiful sunny day and very peaceful with few cars passing on the road behind me. The sun was warm and there were early signs of spring showing in a haze of faint colour on the trees and hedges around me.

As I waited I pondered on the sermon given at chapel earlier today. The subject was taken from Matthew 7:23 when Jesus says, "I never knew you". What a terrifying thought! I prayed that Jesus really does know me and, when the time comes, I will not be left behind. I asked for Him to show me He was with me. As I opened my eyes I was aware of the gate in front of me, topped with barbed wire and held together with a sturdy padlock and chain. Beyond was the glorious field surrounded by trees and I hoped this was not the message God meant for me! Is my heart locked and guarded against letting Him in leaving me with just glimpses of the wonderful paradise beyond? No! Jesus has the key to that padlock and will throw away that chain flinging wide the gates so I can walk through into His arms. 

Prayer: Lord, come into my heart and teach me your ways. Amen,

Make a Joyful Noise

I am sometimes asked to read out the notices at the beginning of our morning service at chapel, which I am happy to do. However, I always feel slightly inadequate as others who do this task usually bring a word, scripture or testimony as well and I have not felt comfortable doing that. This morning I am to read the notices again and for the last couple of days I have been looking for something suitable to bring but to no avail.

This morning I was looking at the Psalms when one little phrase stood out to me as I found it repeated in three fairly close together. I know the words might be different in other translations but the phrase in my Bible is 'make a joyful noise'. This made me smile as I imagined God having to listen to the screeching, growling and misplaced notes that invariably occur during our singing of hymns, all far from the heavenly choir of angels mentioned in the scriptures. But God is not like us, He listens to the heart producing these sounds. As long as we are doing these things joyfully and full of worship for Him, He will accept these praises like a proud father listening to their child playing their first tentative notes on the recorder or violin (and we all know what that sounds like!).

Needless to say, this is the message I gave to the church this morning and ended by saying that is does not matter if you can't sing in tune, just make a joyful noise!

Psalm 95:1-2 Oh come, let us sing to the Lord. Let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving. Let us make a joyful noise to Him with songs of praise!

Psalm 94:4 Make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth; break forth into joyous song and sing praises!

Psalm 100:1-5 Make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into His presence with singing! Know that the Lord, He is God. It is He who made us, and we are His, we are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise! Give thanks to Him, bless His name! For the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and His faithfulness to all generations.

Here I am, send me!

Do you ever feel that God is trying to tell you something? Over the last month or so there have been a series of suggestions that He is trying to get my attention - I can imagine His frustration as I quietly amble on my way, oblivious, whilst He is throwing hints at me with the force of a sledgehammer!

Before Christmas I started a Bible Study on Isaiah which, to be honest, I am finding quite hard. The study is broken down into three sections and, two months into the course, I am still working on the first twelve chapters. Although the subject matter needs a lot of concentration to understand what is being said, a few verses pop out at me, as often happens when you read the Bible, which I feel are meant for me at this time. The one in particular that keeps hitting me is Isaiah 6:8 - Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!” I have prayed about this, asking God to reveal to me what He wants me to do or where He wants me to go, I told Him I am open to whatever He suggests but have not had an answer (or one that I have heard). I thought I must have been imagining things and carried on as before.

In early January my husband had to go for a routine kidney scan - he had bladder cancer a few years ago and has to have annual tests. The last test was all clear but they wanted the kidney scan done as part of the process. Although the results for the kidneys came back all clear we were horrified to hear that a lump had been detected in his breast and he was immediately sent to the Breast Cancer Clinic in Cheltenham. The prognosis was not looking good. After a mammogram and biopsies the doctors were pretty certain this was cancer, and the biopsy results should confirm this in a couple of weeks time - he was told he should bring me along with him to that appointment. The good news was that the cancer hadn't spread to the lymph nodes and should be treatable. He was already on our prayer chain from chapel and as I told them of the results I said we were just thankful that it had been picked up by chance and it had not spread. I also specifically said to one friend that I was praying that when we went to the appointment they would be proved wrong and it was just a cyst or something benign. I also said that the chorus the children had song that morning in church had bought me great peace and comfort - Fix your eyes on Jesus - and that's just what I was doing. A week later my prayer was answered (why am I always surprised by this?). Martin had a phone call from the hospital to say the test results had come in, the tumor was benign and he did not even have to go for the appointment on the Friday. I felt like I was walking on air and kept praising God for what he had done. I even told my non-believing husband that he had been on the prayer chain and that God had healed him. God had heard my prayer.

The following Sunday at chapel the worship team played two songs - firstly one with the chorus Here I am, wholly available - as for me, I will serve the Lord, shortly followed by "I the Lord of Sea and Sky" which has the chorus Here I am Lord. Is it I Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go Lord, if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart. Yes, Lord, there is definitely a theme going on here but I still don't know what I am to do. I did a little study on 'Here I am' as I knew is was elsewhere in the Bible but the only think that I could glean from that was Isaiah was the only one who volunteered to go whereas the others were responding to their names being called. A subtle reminder to be ready when God calls.

Last Sunday morning I was talking to my dear sister in Lord, Rosie. She said she thought she had a message for the church but there had not been an opportunity to give it that day so she proceeded to tell me about it. She had been driving to the service that morning and been stopped by a set of temporary traffic lights and she feared she was going to be late. As the lights changed she went on through the lights and, looking in the rearview mirror she saw a stream of cars behind her and thought, "come on through", the road is clear. As she drove on further all the lights were green so she could "come on through" - and she arrived at the chapel on time. As she was telling me this I just knew the message was meant for me and told her I thought she had told the person who needed to hear it. Again, this week I have been praying for clarification and meaning to all of this but know I must be patient as God will reveal all in His time.

A final nudge this week was in the daily scripture that pops up on my phone every morning. The one on Tuesday was a paraphrase of Ezra 10:4, Rise up ...... take courage and do it.

God has my attention! Here I am Lord, I will go if you lead me, I will come on through when you call. I will rise up, take courage and do it. I just don't know what 'it' is but I hope to recognize it when it does arrive.

Strange Dream

Last night I had the strangest of dreams and it came as something of a wake up call (pardon the pun).

I was walking through a store that looked remarkably like Dunelm in Gloucester with a group of people (I cannot remember who they were) when I turned down one aisle. Everything was in black and white and there were rails of Halloween costumes hanging up - white ghosts outfits and black witches capes and hats. The voices of the people I was with faded away and it became colder and darker. I was suddenly terrified, feeling evil all around me and knew this was hell. Not the fiery furnace we believe to await those who do not believe in Jesus but just as horrifying as God was no longer with me, I could not feel His presence and I was totally lost. And then I awoke.

What could this mean? I have often doubted my own faith - not that God isn't capable of saving me, that has never been in question, but do I truly believe that He can, is my faith as big as even a mustard seed? Am I on my way to hell? In that moment as I woke I knew that I never wanted to be apart from God, the alternative is too frightening and I prayed again for forgiveness and asked Jesus to fill me anew with His Holy Spirit and I felt peace and calm. I know that I never want to walk down that aisle again and I am now assured that I do not have to.

Don't worry, the seed has already been sown!

I have two sons aged 34 and 27 who are very much my Cain and Abel. The younger one has followed me in my Christian faith and gave his heart to the Lord when he was 15 – although he has taken a step back from the church at the moment, I know he still believes and have no worries about his salvation and he is already talking about coming back. Both went to a C of E school and attended Boys Brigade and whilst the younger one continued attending church, playing bass guitar in the worship group and getting baptised, the older one stopped going before he became a teenager. He became very rebellious and we had 10 years of utter nightmare with him before he eventually settled down in a job he loves.

Unfortunately, Christianity has become a forbitten subject with him – he just does not want to know, there is no hope of taking to him and he will even began criticising so I have to bite my tongue to not snap at him and exercise the turning of the other cheek instead. It has become easier to avoid talking about faith at all and I haven’t tried to for several years. I have been extremely guilty that I could not talk to him about such an important thing and I worried that I, or worse still he, might die without telling him especially since Covid-19 has made us all realise just how fragile life can be.

However, I had the slightest glimmer of hope of Friday. He came into the living room (yes, this one still lives at home) and asked what I was up to. I told him I was going to church and he looked at me strangely and asked what day of the week it was. I replied that is was Good Friday which happens to be one of the most important dates in the Christian calendar as it was the day Jesus died. He simply said, “but then he was born again”.

Conversation over but, oh, how joyful that has made me feel. I have no need to feel guilty because he already knows the truth, the seed had already been sown when he was a child. I am not hoping for miracles, although one would be good, but just knowing there is a little seed planted somewhere deep inside him that one day may grow and blossom is a very comforting thought. All I can do now is continue to pray for him, the rest is between him and God.