Last night I had the strangest of dreams and it came as something of a wake up call (pardon the pun).
I was walking through a store that looked remarkably like Dunelm in Gloucester with a group of people (I cannot remember who they were) when I turned down one aisle. Everything was in black and white and there were rails of Halloween costumes hanging up - white ghosts outfits and black witches capes and hats. The voices of the people I was with faded away and it became colder and darker. I was suddenly terrified, feeling evil all around me and knew this was hell. Not the fiery furnace we believe to await those who do not believe in Jesus but just as horrifying as God was no longer with me, I could not feel His presence and I was totally lost. And then I awoke.
What could this mean? I have often doubted my own faith - not that God isn't capable of saving me, that has never been in question, but do I truly believe that He can, is my faith as big as even a mustard seed? Am I on my way to hell? In that moment as I woke I knew that I never wanted to be apart from God, the alternative is too frightening and I prayed again for forgiveness and asked Jesus to fill me anew with His Holy Spirit and I felt peace and calm. I know that I never want to walk down that aisle again and I am now assured that I do not have to.
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